There is a line from  Mario de Andrade’s poem “The Valuable Time of Maturity” that opened my eyes to turning 60 years of age and how did I come to this point where “I counted my years and discovered that I have less time to live going forward than I have lived until now.”

When I turned 50 years old I could say I hit the mid-point of my life.  People are living longer and whose to say I would not make it to 100.  When you look at 60 though, you cannot fathom 120 years of life so I am now I can truly say I am on the downhill aspect of life.  But reality truly hit that I am for sure past my prime.  My grandmother died when she was 67 years old and my mom died at 63 years. I often think about how they viewed life in their 60’s and realizing that they would not live long lives.  As my mother battled ovarian cancer she realized that life would end sooner rather than later.  My grandmother dealt with the same aspects through her heart issues after a heart attack.  Now I face the same aspects of health issues as they did at the age of 60 or early 60’s.

My battle with COVID in January and February 2022 I have had lingering issues – a long hauler as I have been told.  But things progressed since then I have been diagnosed with two conditions that you do not recover from but progress  (fingers crossed for slowly) over time becoming fatal.  One is pulmonary hypertension (which is at a severe level) and also pulmonary fibrosis with decreased diffusion.  My doctors believe the pulmonary fibrosis is COVID-related and thus led to pulmonary hypertension.  Having one of these is bad enough but the two together are not so promising.  It is a very tough pill to swallow as I face many appointments and procedures that time COULD be shorter than I ever imagined but prayerfully I will beat the odds. I had a couple of appointments this week and one of the doctor left the room wishing me a happy birthday and says to “touch my loved ones toremind yourself that you are alive. I did that today at my birthday party…hugged and truly “felt” the love for I am alive today.

None of us know our end date and should live alive.  So that is what I will do.  In the words of Mario de Andrade,

“I want to surround myself with people, who know how to touch the hearts of people …

People to whom the hard knocks of life, taught them to grow with softness in their soul.

Yes … I am in a hurry … to live with intensity, tnat only maturity can bring.

I intend not to waste any part of the goodies I have left …

I’m sure they will be more exquisite, that most of whihc so far I’ve eaten.

My goal is to arrive to the end satisfied and in peace with my loved ones and my conscience.

I hope that your goal is the same because either way you will get there too ..”

Live my friends. Touch your loved ones and cherish each breath you take.  Life moves fast…so very fast and one day you may feel the need to put the brakes on as you say “wow, that happened fast.”