“Nothing new around here” are the words I heard today with a stop at the nursing home. I stopped with a few things my grandfather enjoys and to hear how his weekend had been. “Pretty quiet” and “I napped a lot” were the most descriptive he could find for me. It was not the most upbeat visit we had since he entered the home a few weeks ago.

My grandfather will be 100 years old towards the end of February. He has been a widower since 1988 and until the beginning of November has lived on his own in his own home. There have been health scares and struggles through the years but he has always battled back. Through it all though his mind has remained sharp as a tack. As a friend recently reflected, “Don’t tell Lonny anything you don’t want anyone to know as he will remember it forever.” Well it is true. He remembers more than I do.

His goal in life has been to live to be 100. Four to six weeks ago though he became ill and in his mind gave up on that goal and simply wanted to go home and die. We as a family looked at options for him to fulfill his dream of being in his own home and seeing family and allowing him to feel peace whenever his wife and daughter who wait for him on the other side would take his hand home. There came a point when he had to take an ambulance to the hospital and more skilled care was needed as his weakening body was not allowing his sharp as a tack mind that option to be in the comfort of his home.

Aiding a loved one into a “home” other than their own is a tumultuous mental and emotional journey. Besides all the paperwork that needs to be done, the physical work of moving belongings, safeguarding their home, there is the sadness of watching them lose their independence right before your eyes. The opportunity to walk to the kitchen to have a slice of bread with butter is now replaced with asking and then waiting for it to be brought to you. The normal seasoning of your food becomes cafeteria-like but you are too kind to ask for sugar as there is a diabetic sitting at the table with you so you eat it bland. The smells of home are lost to a facility laundry room.

Today the diabetic table mate will no longer be eating with my grandfather. He now eats with his loved ones who have gone on before him. Maybe my grandfather will ask for sugar or kindly accept the food the way it is cooked and say “thank you.” But for today there was nothing new going on around there. He napped a few times and waited for me to visit. He will wait for me to come on Wednesday with his mail and for his friend Doug to come and visit.

I hear you Boppy. I see you and how sad you are that you are not in your home. I am sad for you. For now though “nothing new going on around here” is keeping you safe and allowing you to gain strength everyday. Enjoy supper and I will see you Wednesday.