Posted on by Julie Deziel

Always Our Hero

What is the definition of a hero? Merriam-Webster has a few of them. One is a “person admired for achievements and noble qualities.” Geoff would fall into this category. All his years as a firefighter automatically put him into that category which he entered into in his teens and would often practice with his cousin Tommy. Tommy reflected on these moments at the funeral. “I always thought it was the coolest thing to be saved by my own cousin time and time again. He was my own superhero.” From Burlington Northern Santa Fe all the way to the Senate floor he was a hero during the train derailment near Casselton, ND in 2013. To me though he was more than a hero, he was a son.

August 12, 2020. 365 days ago. 8760 hours ago. 525,600 seconds ago when my phone rang as my husband and I had settled on the couch for the evening. It was my daughter and she told me, “Geoff’s dead.” Only my straight-to-the-point Adair would lay it out that way. In the nano-second following I thought, “What did Geoff do to piss her off?” But it was nothing that Geoff did to upset her. Our Geoff was gone for real. I was up off that couch and saying we had to go to Adair. I made it to the dining room and I literally fell to the floor in utter shock, horror, loss, disbelief, and heart-breaking pain for my baby girl and grandson. I could not get up from the floor, Mike literally had to pick me up off the floor. “This is not happening. This is a dream. Please wake me up from this gut-wrenching pain I am feeling for all three of them.”

Just eight days prior I sat in their backyard and we visited for hours in which we figured out all of life’s problems, gossiped and watched what we at the time believed to be real dead birds hanging from the water tower (which we found out later they were not real) and of course Isak provided much entertainment. The days that followed Geoff’s death showed me a community filled with love for their friend, their family member, their co-worker, their hero and planning the most appropriate celebration of life they felt he deserved. I also saw those same people project so much love on Geoff’s favorite little guy and surround the love of his life with strength, love and a ton of food. The visitation and service that was put together was beautiful. They knocked it out of the park…literally! It was held at the baseball diamonds on a summer day filled with much sun and love. They honored their hero well.

I can see the hero everyone else sees but Geoff is my hero for a different reason. There is another definition for hero that to me fits him to a tee; an object of extreme admiration and devotion. Geoff loved my daughter with all he had. He gave his all to his little family and provided for them. He was her biggest supporter and together they could weather any storm. He fits that definition in the way he admired what they had and the devotion he had to their love and relationship. The love they shared was one-in-a-million and I was blessed to have him as a son-in-law, although I kept him in my heart as one as my own.

It is difficult to understand why things happen the way they do. I believe we all would agree there is no way Geoff would have chosen this journey for his Adair and Isak but he would be incredibly proud of the strength she has had over the last year and will walk with her through her life. We most definitely know he is watching his buddy grow into the goofy, compassionate, friendly mama’s big boy (he will tell you he’s not a baby) who looks like him more and more every day. The only answer I can give myself is that heaven must have needed a hero and although we wish Geoff was not the one picked we know they got the best. As the song by JoDee Messina (attached to this post) goes, “I guess Heaven was needing a hero. Somebody just like you, Brave enough to stand up for what you believe and follow it through. When I try to make it make sense in my mind the only conclusion I come to is that Heaven was needing a hero like you.”

Posted on by Julie Deziel

A Life That Is


On the days following my mother’s death I remember hearing the classic phrases such as, “She’s in a better place,” “What a blessing that she is no longer in pain,” and “She was such as wonderful person.”  Yes it was a blessing that she was no longer suffering from the cancer that overtook her body and who could deny the fact that she was in a better place; heaven.  She so looked forward to her eternal gift of being a faithful servant and being with her loved ones, especially her mother.  So it was not so difficult to hear those words from those who tried their very best to comfort her loved ones who felt so lost and alone in those days following her death.  The phrase, “She was such a wonderful person” though would strike something deep inside me.

From October 1943-June 2008 my mother lived a life.  She was alive.  She raised 4 children, loved her husband, and worked in nursing for many years.  She  was able to take a different path in her work life by taking a job as a church secretary.  She welcomed 12 grandchildren into the fold and was able to extend her love even more to two great-grandchildren who meant the world to her.  She lived a life where she gave much love and was loved immensely.  On a sunny Sunday June morning at approximately 7:05 a.m. she gracefully slipped into eternal slumber.  On June 28th she was living and on Jun 29th she was dead.  We would never hear her sweet voice, never feel her mom hugs again, and never see that most precious smile again.  Yes that wonderful person was no longer living on this earth.  We then started to hear others talking about her in the past tense and the classic phrases of comfort; more often than not using the word “was.”  Did it have to start that day where she became  “was?”

As that faithful servant she was she knew the reward of eternal life with our Maker.  She knew that her life would continue serving Him in heaven.  We know that our life does not stop once our physical life here on earth ends if we have faith and believe.  Due to the fact that we no longer can see them and their hearts no longer beat it is easy to say, “She was a beautiful person.”  We revel though in the fact that each of their lives are still alive even in death.  What a fantastic concept that are reflected with the words of “they are not a life that was, but a life that is.”