Posted on by Julie Deziel

I Have Mail

I love the holiday season. I can spend all day sitting admiring my Christmas tree all decorated and soaking in the smell of Christmas wafting from the oven. One of my favorites of the season though is checking the mailbox and finding out that I have mail and it includes those special envelopes from friends and family wishing our household a “Merry Christmas”..

I work in an environment that does not bring much good news. Those that reach out on 911 do not do so to let us know they have a new grandchild or they won at bingo or they are getting company over the holiday season. They unfortunately call on their worst day no matter what time of year.

This year has seemed to be a different year in the center. Communities being in lock down brought struggles that families were not familiar with which brought out more violence, more juvenile issues and substance abuse. As the crisis has continued to drag on and continued lock downs, be it schools or businesses, it has has wreaked havoc mentally and financially on many. The tentacles reach throughout on the crisis lines, mental health providers, emergency rooms, and our 911 lines.

It seems as if death has enveloped me lately. Recently I was involved in 3 CPR in progress calls within a 24 hour period. Over this past weekend there were 2 unattended deaths in 12 hours. There are many ambulance call for services and later an obituary is viewed in the local newspapers. It may or may not be related to the medical crisis sweeping across the United States. It could be due to an internal struggle they have or an undiagnosed medical issue or simply old age took over their tired body. I turn on the National news and there is the never ending broadcast of doom and gloom and the out of sight crescendo of death due to CoVid-19 and no matter where a person goes to on social media you cannot simply will not escape it. It is suffocating. It is almost as if I can actually feel the death as a formidable item. It is exhausting and overwhelming most days.

Tomorrow though I will walk through the locked doors of the 911 doors and prepare to take the calls of another individual who is having their worst day; short of breath, high fever, or a young wife finding their husband laying lifeless on the floor. I will do my job. I will check my mailbox on my way out of the driveway in hopes that it will present me with a little joy; an envelope filled with a peaceful scene or a goofy Christmas scene but both sending love with the pictures of the family and signatures of season greetings. I will FEEL alive and hopeful…for now.

I pray you are enveloped in much love and peace this holiday season.

Posted on by Julie Deziel · 1 Comment

Hold On and Hold Fast

I took a look at my hands the other day and realized the age in them.  They look similar to what I remember my moms looked like.  The suppleness is starting to disappear. Elasticity has waned.  Fine lines have settled in.  I have been blessed not to have arthritis within the joints but after a long shift within the 911 dispatch center they are tired.  My hands have loved 4 beautiful children and welcomed 11 grandchildren into the world and held them so close and whispered into their ears how very much they are loved.  I have played many years of piano and led many worship services on the organ.  I have played beautiful songs on the flute and am slowly teaching myself violin.  I have stirred, whipped, beat, rolled out many dinners and desserts for my cherished Christmas gatherings.  My hands held my mother’s hand as prepared for her quiet and graceful journey to heaven. I have wiped many tears away in times of sadness but also in times of pure joy.  My hands have served me well. 

It is not uncommon as a mother to take hold of their youngster at a crosswalk and say, “Hold my hand.  We are crossing the road.”  The little one reaches up and takes hold of their mother’s hand and begin their walk to the other side of the road.  The little one felt safe entering the crosswalk and mom certainly wanted to enstill that concept. That is our job as a parent  from the moment of their birth until our death ensuring their safety or lessening their fears.  This is simply accomplished through the holding of them close as a baby, taking their hand as they walk into the elementary school for their first day of kindergarten or sitting beside them as they learn to drive.  As they grow we slowly let go of our tight hold and watch as they start grasping the hand of their friends and we see them skipping and running into life with a smile on our face knowing that we still hold them close within our heart.  We watch with trepidation as they embark on their first love with hands held tight with a teenage crush that will lead to that ever special first kiss and onto that first love.  

Then we as a young couple stands at the altar facing that one very special person we plan on spending the rest of our lives with we reach for each other’s hand and look lovingly into each other’s eyes and say our vows.  We place a ring on their hand that symbolizes our undying love that has no beginning and end.  The pastor raises his hand above us as a married couple and blesses us and the congregation claps their hands. As a young married couple we walk down the aisle out into the future hand in hand.  Through this ceremony alone the hands symbolize a significant amount of dedication and love.

So much is gained from a hand that is held and we can feel that nothing bad can happen but that would be living life with rose-colored glasses on.  Life lays much within our hands that must be dealt with; good and bad.  As Mercy Me sings through their song “Hold Fast”, the words resonate melodically how taking hold of our Lord’s hand and His word will aid us during those most difficult times.  They sing, “Hold fast help is on the way. Hold fast He’s come to save the day. What I’ve learned in my life, one thing greater than my strife in His grasp so hold fast.” It is difficult to turn to our loved ones when we struggle and hold on tight.  It can be during those times that we seem to let go, almost easier to let go than simply hold on tighter. 

We all need a hand to hold onto no matter what point of life we are in; a new mom bringing a new life into the world, a little child learning to skate on the new ice on a sunny winter’s day, an elderly woman facing an ovarian cancer diagnosis.  A hand offers so much to one person; friendship, peace, safety, strength and unwavering love.  Simply close your eyes as your loved one interlaces their fingers with yours or simply lays their hand on yours. Simply hold on and hold fast to the hand that may be needing the exact feeling you are receiving.