Posted on by Julie Deziel

I Have Mail

I love the holiday season. I can spend all day sitting admiring my Christmas tree all decorated and soaking in the smell of Christmas wafting from the oven. One of my favorites of the season though is checking the mailbox and finding out that I have mail and it includes those special envelopes from friends and family wishing our household a “Merry Christmas”..

I work in an environment that does not bring much good news. Those that reach out on 911 do not do so to let us know they have a new grandchild or they won at bingo or they are getting company over the holiday season. They unfortunately call on their worst day no matter what time of year.

This year has seemed to be a different year in the center. Communities being in lock down brought struggles that families were not familiar with which brought out more violence, more juvenile issues and substance abuse. As the crisis has continued to drag on and continued lock downs, be it schools or businesses, it has has wreaked havoc mentally and financially on many. The tentacles reach throughout on the crisis lines, mental health providers, emergency rooms, and our 911 lines.

It seems as if death has enveloped me lately. Recently I was involved in 3 CPR in progress calls within a 24 hour period. Over this past weekend there were 2 unattended deaths in 12 hours. There are many ambulance call for services and later an obituary is viewed in the local newspapers. It may or may not be related to the medical crisis sweeping across the United States. It could be due to an internal struggle they have or an undiagnosed medical issue or simply old age took over their tired body. I turn on the National news and there is the never ending broadcast of doom and gloom and the out of sight crescendo of death due to CoVid-19 and no matter where a person goes to on social media you cannot simply will not escape it. It is suffocating. It is almost as if I can actually feel the death as a formidable item. It is exhausting and overwhelming most days.

Tomorrow though I will walk through the locked doors of the 911 doors and prepare to take the calls of another individual who is having their worst day; short of breath, high fever, or a young wife finding their husband laying lifeless on the floor. I will do my job. I will check my mailbox on my way out of the driveway in hopes that it will present me with a little joy; an envelope filled with a peaceful scene or a goofy Christmas scene but both sending love with the pictures of the family and signatures of season greetings. I will FEEL alive and hopeful…for now.

I pray you are enveloped in much love and peace this holiday season.

Posted on by Julie Deziel · 1 Comment

Shake It Off

When a racer hits the track he aims for the lead where he can see the checkered flag quite clearly at the end of the race. At the end of the night there is little dust and mud to shake off and you are ready for the next race. Track prep lays down enough, and at times too much water that aids in avoiding a dust storm. When you are in the back of the pack and traveling nearly 70mph not being able to see the car in front of you or alongside you is a recipe for catastrophe. Those of us who drive in the upper Midwest know what decreased visibility is like in the middle of January when snow falls and the winds blow at 35mph lending to zero or near-zero visibility. White knuckle driving and many prayers lead the way and before we head out on the road the next day we have to dust off all the snow left behind. If only…we could dust off all the yuck in life.

There has been an increase in the recognition in first responder suicide. It is a sad fact in this line of work. This extends from fire to law enforcement to EMS to dispatchers. It is a difficult world to walk through. Each line has its own adversities and none of them should be diminished over the other. The aspects of the job that each hold are arduous enough but are compounded even more by outside components.

We all know life is full of struggles. Being an adult is strenuous and there are rough roads to travel and at times it is that white knuckle ride. There seems at times you will not see the light through the darkness of bills, familial struggles, loneliness and then we pile on a call a horrific car accident or an elderly woman who lost her husband and then a bullying co-worker whose life goal seems to be to belittle those around them, maybe a co-worker who is unhappy at his or her position and lays it at the feet of others in the way they treat them and oh yes the toxic people. Do you have an elderly family member that needs additional care that wears you down? Finding self-care is simply impossible and the shoulders cannot hold it all. I have found in my years of work in this, yes it can be, rewarding line of work it seems you need to be hardened and do not or should not show your “weak” side. All of these have been whipped together for that recipe for catastrophe.

It is a sad story to see these stories every day and the families affected. I do not know the answer to help everyone in that dark place. I believe that together we can hopefully lessen the struggle and make the track in life not so dusty, not just in these lines of work, but in life by simply…

Being respectful

Saying “hello” because you want to, not because you are the only two in the hall

Do not dismiss another due to their sex, race, political view, or religion

Just be kind

Forgive often

Love today, love tomorrow

Share laughs

Listen and accept

Hug more

Never should it be “suck it up, buttercup” and absolutely never should it be “shake it off” and pushed off to the side. Find someone, someplace where the darkness is not allowed to fully encompass you. I know I no longer want to read another statistic. My heart hurts enough.

Oh…and bring your dispatcher more chocolate (he/she really does like your company)