How was your day?  When the sun peeked above the horizon did it bring moans and groans that another day had to be faced; possibly work or housecleaning?  Did it bring giggles of children through the house as there was no school?  A new day is upon us and another day marked off the calendar for this year.  It is hard to believe that it is nearing the end of September and the leaves are leaving carpets of gold and red on the ground.  As the sun sets the air is more crisp.  Summer has been crossed off and a new autumn is upon us.  Was is not just spring…yesterday?

Mike, my husband, turns sixty years old in a week.  I have kidded him for awhile now that I never imagined that I would “ever be married to a man who is sixty years old.” We laugh…of course me a little more loudly than him.  It is easier to do when it is not you that is looking at that age.  I am not that far behind though so I should not laugh so hardy.  In my mind though I do not believe I am anywhere near forty, let alone over fifty.  When did this happen? How could it be that my oldest child would be four years away from forty years of age…AND I would be married to a sixty-year-old man? 

Thirty-six years ago I was rocking my oldest child thinking I had life figured out.  I can still see the way the furniture was set up in the living room.  I can see the changing table in his bedroom and how I laid out a towel on the bathroom counter to give him his baths when he was so tiny (who needed the funky bathtubs in today’s baby world). It is all so vivid.  Nine years ago my mom died…NINE years.  It was yesterday I am sure of it, or at least that is how I feel.  The weeks and days before the morning she passed are engrained into my memory which is a blessing.  The talks are cherished and I pray they are never forgotten.  The death process was extremely difficult but I feel honored to have been present for something so moving.  I remember each moment, each slow breath, each hand hold, the tearful goodbye, everything as if it was just this morning.  In a week and a half we will make a second trek to Hays, KS for dirt track racing’s Fall Nationals.  It was a year ago we accompanied Adam and watched him drive for a bigger dance for the first time and we talk about those races as if they were the ones we just went to last weekend.  

I guess time went by a little faster than I thought it would.  I do not know about others but I often rush to get to the end of my work week or anticipate next race or vacation…heck even at times can hardly wait for the next payday.  It does not take a lot of science to figure out that time does not move any faster or slower no matter what.  We lose sunlight and may make a day seem long but goodness it does not change the length of the year.  I know as I am getting close to my middle fifties all I know is I want to slow life down.  I want to slow the years of my grandchildren and keep them little and cuddly forever.  Getting driver’s license and a car, becoming a ‘tween and wearing makeup, 3rd grader having already kissed a boy…whoa!  My children are still babies right?  

So as I look to having a spouse that is sixty in a week I have to turn and look at that sunset and realize that it will bring a new day in the exact same amount of time it took the day before.  Life is moving at the same pace it always will and it is certainly acceptable to allow my brain to think it is thirty even though my body feels like it is seventh most days.  My children will one day all be in their forties rather than their thirties and I will then be in my sixties and Mike will be a week away from seventy…God willing, which now pushes me to take a little more time to look at each sunset just a little closer and take in all that each one has brought to my life…good, bad, happy, and sad. 

Until tomorrow….