Posted on by Julie Deziel

If These Walls Could Talk

This old house has stood strong and tall since 1921. It has seen a century of faces that have moved through and left their mark within the stucco walls. It has seen death within the walls and heard the laughter of many children bouncing down the stairs on their butts just to run back up to do it all over again. There are secrets hidden, innocence stolen, and heard a fight or two. Oh the stories those walls could tell.

The house prior to the most recent changes we have made had 54 windows…yes, 54 windows. Most of the windows were the original paned windows and it was not uncommon to see the curtains move on a very windy day as they were drafty and cold. This house was my childhood home and now it is my forever home. The peace, the lake, the wildlife bring so much joy to our lives. Since January 3rd though I have had an extensive amount of time to spend within the walls of my favorite place where the curtains no longer move with an Arctic Clipper. Every time I look out the window the lake is frozen over and the snow is blowing over it and I am, somewhat, thankful I am thrust to just sit inside. I have COVID.

We have all been inundated with what is COVID and what we need to do when we have it and how to avoid it and the never-ending battle of pro versus con vaccination. I am vaccinated but still had the virus find it’s way into my asthmatic, pneumonia/bronchitis-prone lungs. It took a bit before I was finally tested as I did not present normally…ha big surprise. So I was in the throes of it when I was finally tested. Thankfully I have a great doctor who worked with my wishes to stay out of the hospital for personal reasons and decisions made. Plus they would not do much more than what I was doing other than an experimental treatment not approved by the FDA. COVID hit numerous organs a little hard and it has been a struggle but I am through the worst we believe although I am still having some residual issues with some things.

Today is February 8th and I am still sitting within the walls of my house. My husband and I quarantined from each other and walking stairs was impossible for me so I just have lived in my living room. But when you sit in the same place 24 hours a day, day in, day out can take a toll on you physically and mentally. I am timed to medications and nebulizer treatments. Sleep is almost non-existent and the walls have begun to talk. I have heard and felt this old soul of a house creak it’s tired bones just as I do each day. I hear it say I am tired of being strong just as I do also for each of the 36 days I have lived in my living room. In the silence as I do my Bible Study I can hear the lake and the house have a conversation together. It can push a wearied mind into a state they begin to think they are going off the rails. As I sit here though and think about my situation I think about all those that have to sit these same number of days behind a closed door in some type of care facility with minimal human contact and are scared and alone. They hear sounds from other rooms but not the rooms of their safe place, their home. The contact is not necessarily their loved one as I was blessed to have throughout.

So for now I will gladly accept the stories I hear each day and night within the confines of my living room knowing my strength lies just a floor above me. I will accept that it is a slow process to heal from this virus. I will welcome the midnight activity of the lake and wildlife out in our little world. And for now, I will continue to be content in sitting on the inside looking out.

Stay safe my friends, stay safe.

Posted on by Julie Deziel

I Have Mail

I love the holiday season. I can spend all day sitting admiring my Christmas tree all decorated and soaking in the smell of Christmas wafting from the oven. One of my favorites of the season though is checking the mailbox and finding out that I have mail and it includes those special envelopes from friends and family wishing our household a “Merry Christmas”..

I work in an environment that does not bring much good news. Those that reach out on 911 do not do so to let us know they have a new grandchild or they won at bingo or they are getting company over the holiday season. They unfortunately call on their worst day no matter what time of year.

This year has seemed to be a different year in the center. Communities being in lock down brought struggles that families were not familiar with which brought out more violence, more juvenile issues and substance abuse. As the crisis has continued to drag on and continued lock downs, be it schools or businesses, it has has wreaked havoc mentally and financially on many. The tentacles reach throughout on the crisis lines, mental health providers, emergency rooms, and our 911 lines.

It seems as if death has enveloped me lately. Recently I was involved in 3 CPR in progress calls within a 24 hour period. Over this past weekend there were 2 unattended deaths in 12 hours. There are many ambulance call for services and later an obituary is viewed in the local newspapers. It may or may not be related to the medical crisis sweeping across the United States. It could be due to an internal struggle they have or an undiagnosed medical issue or simply old age took over their tired body. I turn on the National news and there is the never ending broadcast of doom and gloom and the out of sight crescendo of death due to CoVid-19 and no matter where a person goes to on social media you cannot simply will not escape it. It is suffocating. It is almost as if I can actually feel the death as a formidable item. It is exhausting and overwhelming most days.

Tomorrow though I will walk through the locked doors of the 911 doors and prepare to take the calls of another individual who is having their worst day; short of breath, high fever, or a young wife finding their husband laying lifeless on the floor. I will do my job. I will check my mailbox on my way out of the driveway in hopes that it will present me with a little joy; an envelope filled with a peaceful scene or a goofy Christmas scene but both sending love with the pictures of the family and signatures of season greetings. I will FEEL alive and hopeful…for now.

I pray you are enveloped in much love and peace this holiday season.